"CHICAGO (FOX 32 News) - One mom had enough of her son's freeloading, so she took things into her own hands. Reddit user "Chalipo," who is a full time student, recently spent just over a year living with his mom. But little Chalipo apparently wasn't appreciative enough of his mother's generosity - and she had enough! So his mother sent him a bill for all the charges he racked up while living with her. Among the utility, food, cleaning, and other household charges, was a $1,000 charge for "being an asshole and not appreciative of [his] mother's support, financially or otherwise."
First off, if Fox Chicago or any other news network is going to start writing "stories" about Reddit posts, we're all screwed. It's one thing for phenomenal internet writers (bloggers, if you will) to write about whatever we ("they" if you don't like my honest self-assessment and inclusion) want, but newspeople need to check themselves on this one. There's certain clear lines that exist in society and people need to be more serious about not crossing them. I'm all for breaking a lot of the rules out there. That's why I'm a phenomenal man and a total maverick. However, some lines just aren't meant to be crossed, for good reason. Crossing them is how you go from having Mitt Romney to Donald Trump as a presidential candidate. I'm very right about this one.
No, the video up top has nothing to do with this stupid story. The story makes me mad and the Birthday Boys sketch makes me happy, so I included that. Also, it's the first thing that came to mind when I thought about someone getting kicked out of their home, which is exactly what should have happened if this mom was actually mad at her kid.
Being a badass, good parent doesn't mean charging your "asshole" kid; it means laying down the law. This mom was totally just looking for some internet love. Well lady, here's the attention you wanted, but none of the love: you're a bad parent. Do you think it's cute to bill your crappy kid? Do you think it's funny to do so? It's neither. If you want to teach your son some rules and respect, kick him out of the house. Everyone wants to be cool to, wants to be friends with their kids. They're wrong about it. You need to be the GM and President, not a sideline assistant to your children. Am I best friends with my dad now? Yes, yes I am. But that's only after fearing for my life around the man for most of my life up to this point. Constant threat and reminders of power kept me in line, made me the walking picture of excellence I am today. It wasn't monetary threat, it was actual. "I made you, boy. I can end you, too" was my anthem growing up. That is how you do it. If your kid is a crappy, unappreciative asshole, kick him out. That'll get the wheels of change rolling. Charging them a fine will not. If that worked, people would stop speeding after they get tickets, or turn down the music when someone else didn't want to party, or not grill out in the backyard all day, every day, or stop all touchdown celebrations. Being and raising a winner isn't a bureaucracy, meritocracy, or anything even possibly choice-based. It's Divine Right. What am I talking about? Shut up and sit down. We're going bowling.