WGN "HONG KONG — Fast food chain Kentucky Fried Chicken is branching out to finger-licking fashion with a new line of flavored nail polishes. The limited-edition nail polish will come in Original Recipe and Hot & Spicy flavors. It can be applied like normal polish and tasted as soon as it dries, according to a statement by the company posted online."
There are two things that transcend the species barrier between man and animal: friendship and the delicious flavor of fried chicken. Everyone and everything likes making and having friends. However, for as good as friendship is, nothing is gooder than fried chicken. No one should let love, lust, money, or anything of the sort ever get in the way of a good friendship. But fried chicken is better than all of those temptations, so it's OK to let fried chicken ruin a friendship. Fried chicken is so good that chickens will never be able to understand true happiness unless they fry and eat themselves. It's a sad and crazy truth that raises a separate, important question: if one were to eat oneself, would one be twice as big or completely gone?
The only friendship that can thrive and even become stronger by delicious fried chicken is that between man and man's best friend. The canine loves us all for everything we are, despite everything we are: moody, sloppy, loud, inconsistent, moist, and best of all, constantly covered to some degree in food. In exchange for providing us undying loyalty, love, and happiness, all that dogs ask of us is to let them lick our fingers. Well, they don't ask it, but they do it. It's a beautiful thing. As if our symbiotic friendship with canine's isn't already perfect, which it is, now it's going to be something so amazing, so wonderful, so strong, so pure, that we don't even have the right word for it. This is because no single word can describe how good this KFC-flavored nail polish will make our relationships with dogs. Only a combination of words can do so.
It'll be finger lickin' good.