My Verdicts for the 2016 NFL HOF Finalists
"Brett Favre is one step away from entering the Pro Football Hall of Fame."
...
"Also making the cut to 15 are Morten Andersen, Steve Atwater, Don Coryell, Terrell Davis, Tony Dungy, Kevin Greene, Marvin Harrison, Joe Jacoby, Edgerrin James, John Lynch, Orlando Pace and Kurt Warner." --http://espn.go.com/nfl/story/_/id/14526864/brett-favre-terrell-owens-alan-faneca-pro-football-hall-fame-finalists
None of these guys are into the Hall of Fame yet and they won't be until the Saturday before the Super Bowl-holy crap hold your horses and save the date!-but I'm going to go ahead and make some flash judgements now.
1. Brett Favre - I've been a lifelong Packers fan, so I'm willing to speak for all of us when I say all is forgiven. Yes, he broke our hearts by playing for the Vikes then with all of the weiney pic stuff, but when he came back for his jersey retirement and boy was it good to be back. No doubt one of the best ever and his gunslinging part of the reason Obama is going after gun control. Verdict: 100% in.
2. Morten Andersen - In addition to being a worldwide salt tycoon, Mortey holds the NFL record for games played and is the all-time leading scorer. However, he was born in Denmark, so is he really the all-time scoring leader for the NATIONAL Football League? Yes. Verdict: 100% in.
3. Steve Atwater - Hmm let me see 8 pro bowls, 2 Super Bowl wins, and nicknamed "The Silent Assassin." Look, you could try to tell him he's not in, but it'll be the last thing you ever say. Verdict: In.
4. Don Coryell - He's a coach who's not named Vince, Bill, or Ditka, boring, don't care. Also, he didn't get in the first time he was elected, and this is a tough class. Don't know if that's how it works but that's how it works here. Verdict: out. Better luck next time, again.
5. Terrell Davis - Broncos all-time leading rusher and winner of the Elway-era Super Bowls, a dragon John's still chasing after. Hard call, but I think T.D.'s found his way in for yet another score. Elway is praying to God it's not the only good news he gets in February. Verdict: in.
6. Tony Dungy - Tony, Tony, Tony. I'm hard on coaches, but that's just because they've always been hard on me. Look, I know you've been through a lot of horrible stuff in your life, but Tony, you're on TV a lot now. You can't do this all the time:
It's scaring the crap out of everyone watching SNF. However, he's loved by about everyone and had a great run in Indie. Also, he was great chasing Frodo and Sam around for three whole movies. Verdict: In.
7. Kevin Greene - 3rd all-time in sacks, five pro bowls, and arguably the originator of white-guy flow. On top of it he's currently in Green Bay coaching King Clay, God of sacks and the Norse. Verdict: In.
8. Marvin Harrison - We all know the stats and excellence of Marvin. Even now you hear analysts on TV calling him the fastest and stuff like this. He's twice been alleged to have been involved in shootings, but Marvin's known for getting away from tight coverage. Plus I remember this sweet documentary I saw about him having a street race in his neighborhood when he was a kid. Backyard football in real life for the trump. Verdict: In.
9. Joe Jacoby - I truthfully didn't know who Joe Jacoby was. He won three rings and looks like this:
A man who looks like this is a good looking man. Verdict: In.
10. Edgerrin James - Assessing this through the lens of a 90's kid. Edge was dirty in Madden and always rated in the 90s. Great spin move and solid catcher. However, he was playing in the boom of the Peyton years, and yardage was different back then. 2008 hadn't happened yet. Verdict: Out.
11. John Lynch - In the age of extreme HDTV, so many hits look so much worse as you can see guys spines and lives shortening with each brutal hit. However, every once in a while I'll think about some of the worst hits I saw. Lots of them were at the hands of this 9 time pro bowler. And this guy really delivered strikes, almost no one was spared. Great joke. Verdict: In.
12. Orlando Pace - Not only did this former number one overall pick earn himself seven pro bowls and a championship, he blocked for Marshall and Kurt. Lots of linemen don't open holes consistently, let alone that many MVP holes. He was a real wingman. Verdict: In.
13. Kurt Warner - Ah, Kurt. Kurt, you are a man I've always been fond of. A beautiful, older wife. A great career: 2 MVPs, 2 Super Bowls, 3rd highest career completion percentage. But before he scorched the turf, he worked at a grocery store for a while. On top of it all, just a standup man and someone for us all to look up to. Verdict: In to both the HOF and heaven. God bless you, Kurt Warner.
14. Terrell Owens - I honestly thought T.O .was still bumming around as a free agent. He was so, so good. Remember that game he caught like 70 passes? He does. The issue is he shed some tears for a QB I'm more than suspicious of. No go, T.O. Verdict: Out.
15. Alan Faneca - 9 pro bowls, 6 first-team all-pro, Steeler Hall of Fame, and pretty sure he was in one of those soup commercials back when a bunch of Steeler guys were on the Chunky commercials. Verdict: In.
We've got horrible grade inflation in this country, but these guys are all at the top of the class, which is why most are in.
T.O.: We both know you can play another year, so go get on a team and add a few more stats to prove you're worthy.