"Chicago Bears offensive coordinator Adam Gase has been hired as the Miami Dolphins' ninth coach since 20004, and he'll try to end the team's seven-year playoff drought."
Look, I don't want to just piggyback off the last sentence and rip on the Dolphins' pursuit of the playoffs, but that sums up the truth perfectly: Being head coach of the Dolphins next year isn't better than being offensive coordinator for the Bears next year.
Yes, being a head coach is better than being a coordinator. Yes, he'll make more money. Yes, Miami is a better place to be in the winter than Chicago. But no, Miami isn't a place to go win or get close to the playoffs anytime soon. Chicago, on the other hand, looks like it will be.
You have to take the job when it comes, but one more season with things clicking under John Fox would almost assuredly lead to an even better gig next year. Jay Cutler does Jay Cutler things, but last year he did rather different Jay Cutler things. What the hell is Ryan Candyhill going to do for you? I know those Miami receivers are studs, but there's so much work to be done everywhere else on that team. Plus, such a turnover in coaches down there just shows the poison in the water. It's the hardest mission to beat in Grand Theft Auto Vice City: coach the smart fishes without getting killed, both on the field and off.
Also, let's be honest about it. I don't care how smart and sophisticated everyone always says Dolphins are. Who's taking a Dolphin over a Bear? A Bear can outrun a horse in a 100 yard dash. A Dolphin can hardly put together 100 yards total on the ground. Oh, and an actual Dolphin from the ocean would struggle to do so, too.