James Harrison Could Realistically Play Forever

"The NFL's iron man, James Harrison, plans on playing next year at age 38." NFL

James Harrison is absolutely the man. He's 6 feet tall, 275 pounds, 37 years old, and still one of the most dominant players in the game. Last year he had 40 tackles, 5 sacks, 2 forced fumbles, and one interception. AT 37 YEARS OLD. He's got 732 combined career tackles, 76.5 career sacks, and 31 career forced fumbles. The man is truly a beast. We all know about how he doesn't let his kids get participation trophies and how he's stronger than everyone on the field:

But he's also pretty damn old. People talk about how incredible it is that Peyton is still playing/played last year at 39. He's a QB, though, not a LINEBACKER. James looks like he's still in peak shape every single season and he's just not fading. Consider this: last year, the youngest NFL team by average age was the Rams, at 24.94 years old, and the oldest NFL team by average age was the Colts, at 27.17 years old (source). That means James is 10 years older than the oldest NFL team's average age. Yes, this is a confusing way to look at it, but it's stupid how difficult it is to simply sort the NFL roster by age. Also, try searching any variation of "NFL players by age" in Google and see how dumb the internet is. Can't a guy get a straight answer or simple list? Nope. Gotta be those stupid slideshows. This is all your fault, BuzzFeed. I know it is.

The internet might be getting worse, but James Harrison is not. The way he's going at it, I expect my kids to grow up watching him play, too--and I'm not even married or close to having kids yet. James Harrison will just keep playing football until either the world ends or the sport itself does. That might be the same exact day, too, if all the hippies have their way. But I'm not worried about it, because I expect James Harrison to defend the entire institution of football and thus keep it and himself going, forever and ever. James Harrison is some sort of infinite football-time-loop. He's going to play for the rest of eternity.