The Daily Luke Isn't Dead It was Just Trailblazing Trail Mix

Trailblazing, you know, the practice of adventuring in the outdoors and leaving marks of some sort to identify your path for others or leave yourself a distinguished route to trace back.

Leaving marks of some sort...

So, what marks did I leave while trailblazing? I'm leaving one right now, because this post is about my very own trail mix. Trail mix is the trail I'm blazing, trail mix is the mark I'm leaving.

I've been eating a lot of trail mix lately. That's not exclusively what I was doing in the absence of TDL (The Daily Luke, no big deal that's just the abbreviation for this very, critically acclaimed website), but it certainly accompanied my adventures. Boy oh boy, have I eaten a lot of trail mix. Mixed up the mixes, too -- Mountain, Tropical, Cajun, Southwestern, Rocky Road, Sweet 'N Salty, Chocolatey Peanut Butter, and a few more that I can't remember the name of. Hell, at one point I was just eating an assortment gravel, but to be fair, I was pheasant hunting and just trying to be like the pheasants, who have to eat little rocks to store in their gizzards for grain digestion. Eating tiny rocks outdoors. That's how into trail mix I have been.

After sampling and studying so many different mixes of trail mix, I have finally determined the recipe for the best trail mix in the world. It is called "Luke's Mix" and the recipe is as follows:

1 cup of M&M's, regular
1 cup of butterscotch chips
1 cup of chocolate chips
1 cup of caramel chips
1 cup of sugar cubes
1 bag of M&M's, peanut butter
4 bags of M&M's, almond
2 pounds of beef jerky
1 industrial bag of Fun Size candy bars, unwrapped (Don't make the mistake of keeping them wrapped!)
1 stick of butter, unwrapped
2 boxes of Milk Duds
1 quart of chocolate-covered raisins coverings
58 malted milk balls
1 bag of M&M's, peanut
3 dozen chocolate chip cookies
6 gas station apple or cherry pies, depending on pie preference
1 hunk of fudge
3 more pounds of beef jerky
3 party size bags of SunChips
All of the boxes of Junior Mints you can find at as many stores as you can go to in 30 minutes

Combine the mix in an extra large, external frame backpack and shake it around as much as you can without passing out or throwing out your back. Sample the mix and add Neapolitan ice cream for consistency and flavor, to your liking. Put on the backpack and head out on the trail!*

*Be sure to leave an updated version of your will with someone before heading out on the old dusty trail. If the Luke's Mix itself doesn't kill you, the bears and wolves will. Either way, dying is better than eating any regular trail mix.