Nick Saban is the King. Alabama is Unstoppable.

This is Nick Saban's life. The man's body is saturated in electrolyte's nonstop because all he does is win. 40% of Gatorade worldwide has been dumped on Nick Saban. Which is a ton if you consider 20% of Gatorade is drank in the first 2 and a half weeks of January when New Year's Resolution "gym rats" workout for 20 minutes a day for 20 days in a row before throwing in the towel until next year's shame-goals kick back in. It's a good thing, too, because Nick Saban needs all those towels to wipe all the Gatorade off himself.

The poor guy is such a dynamo that he must be the coldest person in the entire south. How can he wear windbreakers and jackets like he does in the Alabama heat? It's because at any given moment, Nick's about to get doused with a mixture of 10 gallons of sports drink/sweat in commercials for said sports drink and about 6 pounds of ice. When we talk about climate change, we have no idea what Nick Saban's world is like. It's a frigid, wet place. Mammoths couldn't even survive there. He's soaked from constantly being re-baptized into the Champion faith. Florida scientists invented this drink not to rehydrate the athlete's body, but rather to cover the Saban's. PepsiCo, like the entire SEC, the CFP, and Lane Kiffin, is just a pawn lucky enough to work for King Saban.

4 championships in 7 years. Spoiler: The entire Game of Thrones series concludes with Nick Saban running a God damn tight ship full of prosperity and riches out of King's Landing.

The game's been plenty well-analyzed and covered, but I want to talk about one thing in particular from what was my favorite College Football Championship ever. Sorry, Texas and USC, I thought this one was more fun, which is wild to say. 

There were so many fast guys on the field last night. Holy smokes. Is every single one of these guys going to be going to the Olympic Trials before Rio? I'm sure at least someone from Clemson and Alabama will be there. Look at the wheels on these bad boys, just two of the many quick, fast, speedy plays from the game:

And of course, the ultra slick return dash:

Kenyan Drake is so fast that it make you wonder how impressive cars really even are.

Last night's game was great. So many studs on the field, we'll see where they go from here. People talk about the future of football being potentially bleak from concussions and safety issues, but I think football's future is bright. When it's this fast and relatively clean (I thought the lack of constant penalties and injuries was great), it's good. And it's only going to get faster here on out.

Oh yeah, one last thing. Couldn't finish the College football season without this treasure: