The More I Think About It, The More I think the 49ers Are Perfect for Chip Kelly

Or maybe rather Chip Kelly is perfect for the 49ers. 

I do not like the San Francisco 49ers. They beat the Packers too many times in the three year period where they were a pretty scary team to play, the Harbaugh years. Also, the five or six 49ers fans I know went in that period from being fans of a horrible team to super self-righteous, all-deserving fans at the flick of a switch. I understand that after years of being a silly sad team, you're gonna be happy when you're finally good again. But the indignation and snootiness was just too much for me. San Fran, man, or "SF" as they all call it. The "S" stands for smug:

I do, however, like Chip Kelly. Yeah yeah there's all kinds of controversy said about him, but let's not forget he's simply polarizing. His players either love him or hate him, maybe a few guys in the middle. I hate Oregon, another team that's beat Wisconsin too much for my liking, but I like Chip. His college offenses were and for the first two years his pro offenses are fast, fun, and exciting. I like old school smash mouth football, but I also like fast football. I think I maybe just hate the wildcat. More importantly, though, I like Chip Kelly ever since he did this:

This is so fun and I like fun, so therefore I like Chip. I also like pools. Above ground pools suck, but a pool that sucks still is a pool, so it rules. It's like having to settle on an ice cream flavor. It's still a good time. Except rum raisin. That's gross by universal grossness standards. 

So why do I think he's perfect for Smug Francisco? Well, Jim Harbaugh did great things there but was gone despite no real lack of success. That was because Jim didn't get along with Jed and Trent, the owner and GM. Also, his name is Jed York--every time I read it my brain struggles, because it wants to read either "Jets New York" or "Jeb." Nothing against the man for his name, just it always gets me. Anyway, the 49ers are hungry to win but Jim was too stern or whatever for management. They then got Jim Tomsula, who was a little less stern and old school, but he got fired after one year for an embarrassing overall performance, although to be fair it was his first season and one with a depleted team. On top of that, 4 starters retired last year, notably Patrick Willis and Wisconsin stud Chris Borland. Then the 49ers had the whole Aldon Smith thing. The guy's just a complete mess off the field, yet he gets fresh starts constantly, which he blows. Aldon Smith is rum raisin ice cream. I don't care how much some people say they like it, just stop putting it in with the other flavors. If you keep stocking rum raisin, it'll eventually kill someone in its next DUI.

Chip Kelly is enough stern but also enough cool (Jim Harbaugh is cool, but in a much different way) where I think Jed and Trent Baalke--makes me think of the Balkan Islands, how could it not--will simply like him more, which is the complete opposite of how the Eagles felt about him. Jed and Trent will give Chip the benefit of the doubt in those sort of situations in the opposite way Harbaugh got it, which was more of a "we expect not to like you, Jim" way. They look at Chip in a "we do now and expect to continue to like you, Chip" way. The Eagles looked at Chip how the 49ers looked at Jim. What a nice change this'll be for Chip. Maybe San Fran will be his Michigan, whatever the hell that means.

Finally, Chip had to pull apart the Eagles roster to get it to be a team he thought could play in his scheme. The 49ers are already so pulled apart from the retirements and other losses that he won't lose favor by canning guys. They just have to go get the guys Chip wants. It's not a major difference, but the 49ers don't really have anything to lose by doing it. Whereas the Eagles management, with their multitude of Super Bowls, couldn't wait another year after two seemingly promising 10-6 seasons to get it going... Oh Philly, it must be hard. For as fierce as an Eagle's claws are at catching fish and small animals, they sure as crap can't hold on to a football catch. 

The Bay area loves new ideas, objectively way too much, and they love fast, finesse offenses, based on the Warriors' success. Chip is headed into an environment that will give him a chance and hopefully a little time. Worst case scenario it doesn't work and he goes to work for Google trying to help them implement speed by heading up their fiber optic efforts. Then San Francisco would only have to wait out the end of their super smart commitment to Colin Kaepernick. 

The NFL sure makes finding videos you want easy: