Goodbye Calvin Johnson. Stud. Face of the Lions. Detroit's Pride. But Zero Rings because Detroit.
This is a great picture. He was/is a great player. Nothing but props, respect, and admiration for Megatron. My only wish is he was nicknamed Godzilla or even Megazord, cause man the Transformers franchise is meh at best. I digress. I digress.
OK, first thing's first, how in the heck does sports news break so fast before teams officially declare stuff? Obviously that's the foundation of most of a sports news network's existence, being ahead of the official blurbs, but still, how do they do it so fast. These damn "sources," I tell you. They're like the Spider and his network of secrets in Game of Thrones. "Sources" report that Dale Earnhardt Jr. is actually Dale Earhardt Jr., the son of Dale Earnhardt and Amelia Earhart. "Sources" confirm that Sammy Sosa changes color depending on time of year and longitudinal positioning. "Sources" tell everyone what everyone already knows in that LeBron completely runs the show in Cleveland (at best it's a second-place show).
So once again, "sources" say that "Detroit Lions star receiver Calvin Johnson told his family and a close circle of friends before the past season that 2015-16 would be his final season in the NFL. He delivered the same message to coach Jim Caldwell the day after the regular season ended, sources told ESPN." Oh look, now I have to make a goddamn source to attribute it. Unlike all of these reporters and sports news outlets, who can just say that their source is a source. What? Who the hell told ESPN about Calvin's alleged departure? His mom? Dad? Someone in the close circle of friends? His dog? Jeeze it seems like it would be shakier than it is, the way this constant news breaking before official news officially happens is. Look at the official Lions' source. Nothing on there as of Sunday about Calvin retiring. I just want to know who the real source is. Or what the real source is. At least when you click on my sources I take you to where I heard it. There ain't no hyperlinks on ESPN or anyone else's sources. It's downright sorcery.
Moving on from my awesome rant, Calvin Johnson was the man. NFL single-season receiving yards record holder at 1,964. 731 career receptions. 11,619 career yards. 15.9 average yards per catch for his career (which is just insane, so so good). 83 career touchdowns. Also he's 33 feet tall with a 50 yard wingspan. Man's just a football machine, a total beast.
It'll be really hard for Detroit not just on the field, but as a franchise. He is the Detroit Lions. No matter how good they were (which was never great) or weren't (usually), the Detroit Lions always at least had a point of pride and a major threat in Calvin Johnson. It seemed like doubling defenders up on him didn't even matter because he could snag balls from anywhere. The sad part of Calvin is he only ever got to the playoffs twice in his career. He's gotta be leaving now knowing that the franchise is once again swinging back toward a regular double-digit loss column team. Poor guy, never ever had a shot at a ring in the Motor City. I always figured he'd eventually leave Detroit and go win somewhere else. It's actually pretty cool that he'll retire as a one-team player. As hard as losing Calvin Johnson will be for the city of Detroit, at least they have that career dedication from Calvin, as well as all the other great play he gave them.
Finally, here's my objective image-reaction-analysis of what losing Calvin Johnson immediately looks like for Detroit.
The Quarterback:
Source: https://uproxx.files.wordpress.com/2012/09/staffdaww.gif?w=650
The Coach:
Source: https://usatthebiglead.files.wordpress.com/2015/10/usatsi_8836034_153192880_lowres.jpg?w=1000&h=667
The other receiver:
The Owner:
Source: http://image.mlive.com/home/mlive-media/width620/img/lions_impact/photo/18926251-mmmain.jpg
"Shit. We're in deep, hot shit."
And now from the lens of a Packers fan... The best QB in the league and also devision and his best receiver, AKA the soon-to-be-back humongous overall and also biggest divisional threat:
https://usatthebiglead.files.wordpress.com/2012/10/uspw_66625701.jpg
Finally, what this will now allow King Clay to do on 75% of plays against Detroit:
Source: https://giant.gfycat.com/TheseThirdLark.gif
"Oh wait there's nothing to worry about downfield now I'll just go get that guy in/out of the pocket all the time."
This isn't about the Packers trolling the Lions though--that's what 99% of their matchups are for.
It's about Calvin Johnson. There are always plenty of hot flashes in the pan when it comes to NFL receivers. Some of them fizzle after one season, most after a short few. But Calvin Johnson was a stud in each and every one of his nine seasons. He will truly be missed. He was truly feared and respected. He's a great guy off the field, though, so I'm sure we'll still be seeing lots of highlights from Megatron.
(Final note--if this is one of those instances where the fricken sources are wrong, I stand by all my Calvin praise but will ensue with even more Packers trolling.)