Old Psychic Woman Is Too Powerful for Death

"A psychic in Orange County said she had a premonition something was going to happen – and it did when a truck plowed into her home business in Anaheim on Friday. Around 4:30 p.m., a truck traveling on Beach Boulevard hit the back of a Toyota Camry and lost control, before crashing into the psychic business operated by Rachel Williams. Williams said it was the third time a vehicle has crashed into her business." NBC

This woman is the face of immortality. People like to joke about psychics. "Psychics don't have any real powers." "Psychics can't predict the future." "Psychics are normal people just like the rest of us." Well guess what. Guess who's dead. Hmm? Who? Every single normal person ever (excluding those currently pre-dead). No person who's not currently living is not dead. That's 100% of normal people dead. The numbers don't lie. That's a pretty scary statistic.

Even scarier than that? Guess who is NOT dead. Go ahead. Who? 

Every psychic ever. 

Yes, 100% of not living people are dead and 100% of psychics ever are alive. That means there's a 100% chance you'll wind up dead someday unless you're a psychic.

On top of these alarming, full-proof statistics is one more shocker: this woman who is a psychic was 100% correct with her prediction that a truck would plow through her home FOR A THIRD TIME.

100% dead if normal. 100% not dead if psychic. 100% correct truck crashes into psychic business/home. Vehicles have crashed into her psychic business/home THREE times.

Again, these numbers don't lie and they all add up to one undeniable truth: psychics can't be killed because their powers are too strong for death. The grim reaper can keep launching vehicles at psychics but it's not use. Nothing will come of it. 

This woman Rachel Williams is so unkillable that she doesn't even need to move locations despite being crashed into two times already and knowing a third time was coming, simply because there's no point moving knowing there's no chance of dying.

So go ahead and keep laughing at psychics. Have a good old chuckle during your limited number of days left on this Earth while you're still pre-dead. If you doubt these numbers and claims, too, then take it up with Ms. Williams' son. Right before the crash he was crunching the numbers for me in Stata while he was "operating the computer."