I have not seen a superhero movie in a while. The last one I saw might be the Nolan Batman series with Christian Bale. You know, the ones where Batman is really fantastic for three movies before he gets kidnapped and brutally tortured by Ben Affleck next month? Holy crap am I not excited about that movie. First Indiana Jones got it bad on the back end, and now Bruce Wayne:
I did see the X-Men movies when I was in junior high, though. The original two or three that is. There's like a billion of them now. It's crazy wild to me because superhero movies are just like hip foods nowadays. I don't hunger for them, but they keep trying to feed them to me. Kimche, kale, the Avengers, quinoa, Spiderman, lentils, the allegedly Fantastic Four, gelato. It's all just propaganda for some weird front to voluntarily give up happiness and fun. Yuck!
Everyone knows that Wolverine is invincible. He has some super special metal infused into his bones and Australian charm on top of it. Yet despite his invincibility, Wolverine developed a cancerous basal cell on his schnoz, which is the mildest form of cancer. He did beat it, because after all he is Wolverine, but the point is no one beats the power of the sun. Not George Bush, not Randy Johnson, not Beyoncé, not Wolverine, not even Steve Jobs. Michael Jordan beat the Suns a bunch, but that's just because he actually hates Charles Barkley. Plus Michael Jordan is not beholden to the rules of mankind. Listen to what the Wolverine says and protect yourself from the one true source of life in our galaxy. That way you can not only be safe, but also you get to smell that delicious Banana Boat smell. Mmm, that is one good smell.