LOS ANGELES — Hollywood legend Jon Voight has endorsed Republican Donald J. Trump for President of the United States. In an interview with Breitbart News Tuesday evening, the Oscar-, Emmy-, and Golden Globe-winning actor said: “I’m not someone who’s saying he’s the best of this group. I’m saying I like this guy.” “He’s an answer to our problems. We need to get behind him. The Republicans need to unite behind this man. We need somebody to go in and reconstruct us in a sort of way, get us back to where we were, who we need to be.” Breitbart News (Haven't you heard of it)
Earlier today Carly Fiorina endorsed Ted Cruz and just when it seemed that nothing would top that monumentally significant endorsement, Academy Award winner Jon Voight endorses Trump. Jon's a legend who put the H in Hollywood. That's why he's just a "Jon" John--he gave that much of himself to what was formerly called "Ollywood". Jon's known for all kinds of great work: Midnight Cowboy, The Champ, Deliverance, Coming Home, Enemy of the State, Holes, Anaconda, and so much more, including Angelina Jolie. Of all his excellent works, though, the most significant is Mission Impossible. Spoiler alert: if you haven't seen Mission Impossible yet, things aren't as good for you as they could be. It's an awesome movie and the reality is Ethan Hunt would trump James Bond in a fight, the trumping hence Voight's endorsement of Trump.
What does it mean for Jim Phelps (his character and Tom Cruise's character's boss in the movie) to endorse Trump? A whole lot. Jim is the head of a secret spy and intelligence group, so he knows his stuff. Phelps's being an incredibly accomplished man in a vastly important field and endorsing Donald Trump means that Trump is truly the guy. No one knows security and global decisions like intelligence operatives, so therefore Trump is the best Presidential candidate.
It's especially huge for Jim Phelps to endorse Donald Trump because Jim is dead, having been killed at the beginning of the movie when the mission failed--wait, if Jim is dead, that makes him a ghost... A ghost endorsed Donald Trump? Holy crap it all makes sense now, that's why that other Mission Impossible movie was called Ghost Protocol. Wow, huge for Donald Trump to win over a very high-up ghost's approval. Wait, but Jim also wasn't dead--HE WAS A TRAITOR! Crap, that means a guy who actually was trying to kill Ethan Hunt and screw him over just endorsed Trump. Does that mean Trump is Ethan Hunt in this situation? No, wait, Tom Cruise is Ethan Hunt, so Donald Trump is--NO, WAIT AGAIN, Phelps did actually die, he got killed in that sweet helicopter chase explosion. So does that mean Phelps is or isn't a ghost? Did the mission actually ever go through? Is the endorsement real? Did the endorsement actually happen? It seems Jon Voight has made Donald Trump... A Mission Impossible.
Spoiler alert alert: if you think that James Bond is better than Ethan Hunt, then why have so many different people had to play Bond but only our man Tom Cruise has needed to play Hunt? Also, James Bond is British.
Spoiler alert alert spoiler: if you say "well what about Jason Bourne?" I will remind you that Matt Damon played that guy. Also, Matt Damon as in Ben Affleck as in the new Batman vs. Superman movie as in case in point, point for Ethan Hunt.