"Every year, a Patagonian penguin travels 5,000 miles for a heartfelt reunion with the Brazilian fisherman who saved its life. The kindhearted 71-year-old fisherman, Joao Pereira de Souza, first met the Magellanic penguin in 2011 when it washed up on a bed of rocks, starving and covered in oil. De Souza spent a week nursing the endangered bird back to health, giving him the name Dindim. The penguin wouldn’t leave the fisherman’s side when he attempted to release him back to the waters, instead living with him for 11 months. Once the penguin grew its feathers back, it disappeared, only to return a few months later. “Everyone said he wouldn’t return but he has been coming back to visit me for the past four years. He arrives in June and leaves to go home in February and every year he becomes more affectionate as he appears even happier to see me.” Dindim spends eight months of the year hanging out with his human soulmate on a beach outside of Rio de Janerio and is believed to spend the rest of the year breeding off the coast of Argentina and Chile. Adorable video of the the pals shows Dindim honking and flapping its wings at the sight of de Souza and giving the elderly Brazilian man sweet pecks on the cheek. “I love the penguin like it’s my own child and I believe the penguin loves me," de Souza told Globo TV, according to The Independent. “He lays on my lap, lets me give him showers, allows me to feed him sardines and pick him up.” Experts believe that Dindim thinks de Souza is “probably a penguin.” “I think the penguin believes Jaoo is part of his family ... when he sees him he wags his tail like a dog and honks with delight,” said biologist Professor Krajewski, who interviewed de Souza for Globo TV." Daily News
The above text is long but it's nothing compared to this penguin traveling 5,000 miles to see his Brazilian fisherman friend. The story is wonderful, arguably perfect. Man finds penguin. Man saves penguin. Penguin and man become best friends. Penguin becomes fully healed. Penguin leaves. Man goes about his business catching fish. Penguin comes back some months and half a world later. Man and penguin are closer than ever. Man feeds penguin fish. Penguin brings the most beautiful women in all Brazil to the man in return for the fish and friendship. Man and penguin have it made on a beach in the sun. This story's just the exact opposite, happy version of The Old Man and the Sea. Hemingway's life might have sucked, but in the end it looks like it was worth it (I suppose his literature counts somewhat, too) considering it created this man's story with his penguin, the yin to Hemingway's yang.
For everyone who wonders 'What's the meaning of life?' or 'How do you achieve true happiness?', this is the answer to both questions: become genuine best friends with a penguin. There are no down sides. The penguin is awesome on all accounts. His permanent attire is chill for beach parties and formal for fancy dinners. His waddle-walk will make anyone laugh or swoon, meaning not only will no one ever be mad at you, but also you'll always be having a good time. When you want to swim, he'll swim. When you want to walk, he'll walk. When you want to crap out white bird uric acid, he'll crap out white bird uric acid. When it's hot, he's happy with Brazil. When it's cold, he's happy with Antarctica or Vancouver or wherever. When he needs some alone time, he takes it--and always comes back, happier than ever to see you.
I'm not saying penguin is man's best friend, that spot is still rightfully reserved for the (not small) dog. I'm just saying that a penguin is what we're all working for here and life isn't as good as it can be until you have your own penguin. Imagine having both a black lab and a penguin. That's what everyone in heaven is doing. Just walking around on the beach, throwing a tennis ball out into the surf for their dog, enjoying the silence with their penguin. People wonder if you're still with your spouse or what age you are in heaven. It doesn't matter. Because you have a dog and a penguin.
Also, I understand that by this theory it means Adam Sandler's life in 50 First Dates is technically heaven. I'm OK with it. The only difference is instead of having a dog, he has Rob Schneider, which actually maybe is pretty much the same thing.