The UK Department of Health is Not British

Pictured above is the Queen of England. She's very happy in this picture. She's also drinking tea in this picture. She's very happy because she knows that with every passing tea time she's that much closer to getting to actually drink. Drinking is as much a part of being British as the Beatles and Top Gear are.

The UK Department of Health's chief medical officers just released a report that suggests "both men and women [..] are safest not to drink regularly more than 14 units per week, to keep health risks from drinking alcohol to a low level." Source 

The only way I can explain this is that the UK Department of Health is not made up of anyone who is in fact British. British people like drinking, a lot. Accuse me of an offensive stereotype (also explain to me how that is offensive in a logical way and also without going to a pop-news website), then tell a British person that it's also a stereotype. They'll laugh at your face then buy you a pint. Winston Churchill drank at least a pint a day and he was running the place. Damn great leader, too. 

I'm not saying these imposter British medical officers are manipulating science, I'm just saying they're wrong about it. Get some real Brits in to the lab, pour some champagne and scotch into some test tubes and beakers, and let them find the real answers.

This is what British science looks like: