One Direction Is Splitting Up, Or They're Not, Either Way They're Done

"Fans can breathe a sigh of relief... probably. An online report alleging One Direction's current hiatus is actually a permanent break isn't true.

A source close to the band tells Billboard 'nothing has changed regarding hiatus plans for the group, and all will be revealed in due time from the band members' own mouths.'" Source

I probably wouldn't recognized One Direction if they were walking by on the street without press or fans, but I probably would recognize more than just few of their "songs" from the radio. I know they have that song "One Thing," because it's one of those songs that when I hear I either change the station or go to a different room. It might even be the one song that's made me switch to listening to predominantly AM Radio when I'm driving around. My car doesn't have a tape deck or an aux port, which has actually been nice for being caught up on WBBM. Anyway, when my roommate texted me just now and said, "You hear One Direction split up?" I said, "No." Followed shortly after by, "Did we have plans tonight? I feel like I'm forgetting something."

I guess maybe what I was forgetting, it turns out, is that whether One Direction is splitting up or not (this article and every other one I found was so unclear about if One Direction is in fact splitting up), they're plenty done. They lost that one guy with a Z name that all of the teen girls loved so much and that loss was the real "One Thing" that ended it. One Direction is British. They love soccer. If One Direction is a soccer team, they lost their goalie, or manager, or referee maybe--soccer doesn't have a quarterback so I don't know who the hell the star guy is in this British analogy I'm going for here. Doesn't matter, the best thing to ever come from soccer is Green Street Hooligans. But the point is, One Direction's been fielding a partial team ever since the Z guy left, so they've been as good as done and will still be done so long as he's gone.

Because the loss of Zidane was just too much for the other four members of One Direction: