Plumber Demonstrates Being a Man is 0-60mph in 2.5 Seconds

There's a lot of momentum going on nowadays for the idea that being a man isn't hard. That men are dumb. That being a silly, dumb man can be a punchline to lots of jokes. That that punchline can even be the basis of entire multi-season sitcoms. That men, most often in the form of dads, are just the worst.

Well, I'm here to say it: being a man isn't easy. Being anyone not named Bill Murray or Dennis Rodman isn't easy, really, but I only know about being a man, so I can therefore only say that being a man isn't easy. With certainty I can say it, too. Are we stubborn? I suppose. Do we make mistakes? Yes. But are we proud?  Gol dern it yeah, we sure are, we're rootin' tootin' proud. And do we run hot? Hell yes we do. Many powerful, finely engineered machines do.

This video just shows it all. It's the guy's first toilet fitting, apparently, and he's so pumped up. He did it. He mounted that porcelain sucker up real good. It's a fine looking can, a wonderful pot to piss in. If he really is a plumbing apprentice, it's his literal pot to piss in, too, because that's what he's learning to do. Then, just when it seems that the real color of gold is shiny, chilly white, he sees that door. That stupid, dumb, idiotic, pointless door. Who the hell put that door there? Is it his fault that he didn't notice it was open behind the toilet as he was installing the damn thing? No, it's not. Honestly. And here's exactly where he's a man and he's right about it. You figure out the task, you do it, you do it as hard as you can, you do the shit out of it, you do it on your first try, and you don't screw it. You might screw it up, but you don't quit on it. You don't quit on anything as a real man, even though lots of stuff quits on you. Like this piece of crap door. You don't go back to the drawing board because there isn't a drawing board, there never was. Planning is not for doers, and men are doers.

The guy was furious, but he'll be fine, because he's a man. He'll bounce back. He'll nail down some perfect toilet installations. It's one of the noblest things a man can do, really, installing and fixing other men's thrones. God bless him. He's a saint for what he's doing and how he's doing it. Keep fighting the good fight, brother. Just like the honorable Al Bundy. Even he would be proud of you. Man up, man on.

Man up. Man on.