Chicagoan Had Secret Pet Alligator for 26 YEARS

"A man in south suburban Lansing kept an alligator at his house for over two decades without neighbors knowing, according to authorities. The 6-foot-long alligator spent most of its 26 years in a cage of the basement of Charles Price's house, according to Illinois Department of Natural Resources Spokesperson Chris Young. However, Price 'put it out periodically in his back yard. No one knew he had it, no one had ever seen it,' IDNR Sgt. Bill Shannon told The Chicago Tribune Saturday... 

"'It was every bit of 200 pounds...'" Source

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People are just the weirdest. Some are into flying drones, some are into music festivals, some are into e-cigarettes, some are even into willingly avoiding meat. It's all wrong to me. But having non-cat-or-dog pets is just the absolute weirdest. The question isn't what went wrong when you were a kid, but how much and how often did stuff go wrong to make you want to buy a crazy pet. I mean sure, there are animals I would love to have as a pet--raccoon, fox, otter--but that's just not how it works, because dogs are all anyone ever needs and also because my parents loved me, so I'm all set.

Even within the spectrum of craziness that is exotic pets and those who own them, though, an alligator is just insane. They're the last of the dinosaurs. They're complete killing machines. They haunt Lake Placid. They took Chub's hand. How could anyone ever trust let alone own a gator? People in Florida are even afraid of them and that's their mascot. So imagine finding out your good old neighbor Chuck Price has had a 6-footer that weighs 200 pounds in his basement all these years. What would you do? It would change everything, taint all my memories, ruin my perception of my own home. I think I'd just have to move someplace even farther North, where I know these cold-blooded bastards can't find me.

Most realistically, though, I'd react the exact way Chubs did if I came face to face with a domestic alligator. Never forget Chubs, never forgive alligators. RIP Chubs. Watch your back, gators: