Crap Chicago We're Losing Our Baby Red Pandas

"'Clark' and 'Addison,' Lincoln Park Zoo’s two red pandas will soon find new homes outside of Chicago. Zoo officials say the move is coordinated with nature, when the pandas have grown to be adults and leave home so their mother, in this case 'Leafa,' is ready to breed again for the upcoming season. Clark and Addison were born seven months ago, behind the scenes at the Kovler Lion House." WGN

"All good things must come to an end..."

"If you love something you must let it go..."

"A red panda is like a beam of light: you can only admire it, you can never truly capture it..."

OK, I made up that third one but it's just as true. I really don't know anything about red pandas but I know I love them. Look at these guys. They're fluffy. They're cuddly. They've got a great color-scheme. They'd make for the best cartoon characters of all time. They're simply adorable. I want to go live with them, I want to study them, I want them to teach me their ways, I want them to accept me as one of their own. But I can't, because as soon as I got a chance to know Clark and Addison, which are just the best Chicago animal names, I found out they're leaving. Where will they go next? No one knows. It's just the way of the red panda.

I wish I could say we had enough time together, Chicago's cutest critters, but we simply didn't. You're everything I love about raccoons, puppies, stuffed animals, and heart-melting mischief, all in one.

You're hilarious when you nap:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Red_panda#/media/File:Tiergarten_Schoenbrunn_Kleiner_Panda_2.jpg

You have a perfect smile and perfect camera presence:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Red_panda#/media/File:Red_Panda_in_a_Gingko_tree.jpg

You stand out among even the cutest of fuzzy bastards:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Red_panda#/media/File:Lesser_panda_standing.jpg

But your time here is done and so you must go. I will miss you, Clark and Addison the baby red pandas. Chicago will miss you. We will. All we can say is: thank you. Thank you for all you do and all that you are. Take care, be well, and good luck getting it on when the time's right for you to keep your excellent species going. I sincerely hope you two are able to make just the best red panda love possible someday.

Please promise you'll think of us here in Chicago every once in a while, red pandas. We promise we'll think of you often, with open hearts and open eyes:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Red_panda#/media/File:Ailurus_fulgens_-Diergaarde_Blijdorp-8a.jpg

Man, the Bulls suck this year.