Marco Rubio's Football Skills Are Noteworthy and Important

Today is the South Carolina Republican primary and Nevada Democratic caucus. The 2016 election is coming up fast. There's tons to talk about. We've still got a huge field of candidates and no certainty of who's getting nominations. Liberal people are largely supporting Bernie, though the DNC is seemingly pulling for Hillary. Conservative people are kind of all over the place, but not nearly as much as the GOP itself is. Some conservative candidates have dropped out and others still are dropping out. Trump is still going strong despite some thinking he'll fade at each and every stage, which he hasn't. Bloomberg might run and that could be a huge game changer.

The one thing no one is talking about that is a real game changer, though, is football skills. Each candidate has uniquely generic views on issues we all say we're real invested in. Healthcare, immigration, taxes, the military, education, bipartisanship, the budget, blagh blagh blagh, beep boop beep. It's robotic in its consistency, living up to expectations, and general lack of actual details. Speaking of robotic, no one's been called more robotic than Marco Rubio:

Yes, the repetition of rhetoric is robotic, but he's a politician. What do people expect? This isn't an NFL playoff game. You shouldn't expect to be surprised and wowed. You should expect to have your expectations met.

The one expectation I have that is probably as important as all others in a potential US President is the ability to throw a football. It's a basic human right and those who can't do it sure have to prove by some other means that they're still human. Bernie played some basketball on camera, so he's proved he's a living human, even if he does maybe only have a few years left of it. Don't worry, Bernie will live forever in the hearts and minds of the people. As well as in the cloud, I presume. Bernie Sanders: the first person to live forever through having his soul stored virtually.

So Marco Rubio once again showing his skills with the pigskin is simply huge. The United States of America is the greatest football team on planet Earth. Yes, we invented the game, but regardless, we win the Super Bowl every year. It's a tough but beautiful sport. A sport that's all about the team. We win time after time--yes, undefeated--because we've got stars at every single position. Yet even though it's a team sport, the most important position is quarterback. You can't expect to win without a star quarterback. The 2000 Baltimore Ravens prove the importance of a great defense, but still, no one else is winning the whole thing without a top-notch quarterback.

As the most storied team in sports, the United States of America, we must continue to have the best quarterback possible. The best quarterback possible has to have the complete skills package: the president's gotta be smart; gotta know the offense inside and out; gotta be able to read the opposing defense in an instant; gotta be able to call audibles at the line; gotta be able to take a beating and get right back up; gotta be able lead the other players; gotta be able to get along with all the coaches; gotta be able to deliver to the media; gotta be loved by the fans; and, of course, gotta be able to throw the ball.

No American President/great quarterback throws the ball poorly. It just doesn't happen. Your job is to throw the football. Simple as that. That's why it's of the utmost importance that candidates for the job be able to throw the ball well, because all the job comes down to is throwing the ball. No one would argue otherwise.

Look at the evidence.

Obama throws the football real well:

Bush showed Jeff Garcia a thing or two about the position:

Clinton was known for his great hands and ball control:

Bush Sr. kept it nice and tight, right up by the ear:

Some even say Reagan is the one who taught Uncle Rico how to throw a football over them mountains:

That's why Marco Rubio showing off his skills is so noteworthy and important. He's showing what he can do in a draft class people are having a real hard time scouting out. I expect my QB to be able to throw the ball, plain and simple. That little finger lick he throws in at 8 seconds in the video with his son? The man knows how to throw the ball. 

Still don't think he knows the game?

He puts the ball right where it needs to be, too:

As if that's not all enough to showcase his football skills, the man's married to a former Miami Dolphins cheerleader, Jeanette Dousdebes:

Marco Rubio has showed he can throw the football. What about you, rest of the 2016 presidential candidates? The ball's in your court. Hope you know how to throw it back.