Classless Girl Scouts Announce Not One but TWO New Cookies
BREAKING: A new cookie variety is joining the mix - Girl Scout S'mores! https://t.co/Zodwi3KS83 #NationalSmoresDay pic.twitter.com/eMrPvpW6Yh
— Girl Scouts (@girlscouts) August 10, 2016
Girl Scouts "We’re excited to announce that today, National S’mores Day, we’re celebrating 100 years of Girl Scouts selling cookies by introducing the new Girl Scout S’mores™ cookies. That’s right! We’re combining two iconic Girl Scout traditions—s’mores and Girl Scout Cookies! Joining legendary classics like Thin Mints® and Caramel deLites®/Samoas®, the new Girl Scout S’mores™ cookies will be carried in select markets during the 2017 cookie season.
And it gets even better! As a nod to the different ways people “s’more,” the new variety includes two versions: a crispy graham cookie double dipped in a crème icing and enrobed in a chocolatey coating and a crunchy graham sandwich cookie with a chocolate and marshmallowy filling. The cookies will be the first new addition to the Girl Scout Cookie lineup since 2015."
The Girl Scouts of the United States of America are a great American institution: they educate, empower, and unite young woman all while maintaining an emphasis on fun and good values. Not only is their full name, which is The Girl Scouts of the United States of America, rather American, but their extreme and unparalleled capitalist successes are, too. Few things are as American as wearing a green beret and making a bunch of money off of desserts.
However, the GSotUSA demonstrated a lack of class today. Yes, their cookies are world champions, cookie gold medal winners, if you will, but to announce new cookies today, during the Olympics? Classless. We can eat and champion Girl Scout cookies the other 364 days a year, but today is the Olympics. It's a day about celebrating America. The Olympics only happen for one day, once a year. How about you get out of the spotlight for once and let the world's greatest American athletes have it, GSotUSA?
As if that's not enough, the GSotUSA have announced not one, but TWO new cookies, both of the S'More variety. The Girl Scouts are saying "We want to crush the competition. We want to be on top of the podium, and we won't stop there because we'll want to win Some More. We'll make S'More cookies. We'll win S'More medals. We'll be S'More the best. Yes, this is the oldest and most overused cookie joke of all time. But you know what? We'll make S'More jokes, too. Because we're the best. Cookies." Is it controversial? Well, the Girl Scouts say they always can do, and you sure can't spell "controversial" without some of the letters found in "always can do" as well as a few other words, one of which should probably have a "V" in it.
They're Olympic rings, not Olympic cookies, Girl Scouts. The colors are Red, White, Blue, and Gold, not Green and Tan. Show a little more class next time and save your delicious cookie announcement for one of the other days of the year, one of the regular days celebrating American excellence. A day like Columbus Day, Memorial Day, or Independence Day. Any other American day but NOT the Olympics. This day is about American sports. Or maybe even make your announcement during the Super Bowl.
Boy, cookies sure would be an awesome Super Bowl snack.